After a busy weekend I am having a lovely relaxing afternoon with my little family. Cup of tea (thanks Marty), chocolate brownie and my knitting.
This has been one epic project. I’m currently working on the first sleeve (my first ever sleeve).
Over the last few years I have heard words come out of my mouth before I thought how they would affect others.
Sometimes I know that I can get a little too caught up in my mind that I forget to be mindful of others. Since I became very aware of this massive character flaw, I have tried my hardest to be more mindful. As hard as I try I am sure that there are moments where I slip up, after all I am human. I truly am sorry for not becoming aware of this flaw earlier.
I know that I can often get so caught up in what is stressing me out, on what I have to do in a minute or an hour and worse still what I could be doing now. That was until I saw the next quote on a blog.
It certainly made me think.
What am I tossing away?
Who am I pushing away through my ignorance?
What opportunities am I walking away from?
Who is walking away from me?
I know that life is tough. Things don’t always come easily for some; for others the opportunities we want and crave may seem to fall easily into place. Some of us have to work so hard to get anywhere and some don’t. It is so easy to get caught up in what we don’t have and what we wish we had but it is harder to be mindful.
How do we know that the person we are thinking about is truly happy? They might want what we have? If we respond with jealousy we might be tossing away a good friendship, pushing away someone who deserves our friendship or walking away from someone who cares.
When I feel I am overly stressed, anxious or rushed I try and clear my mind and ask myself if I am being mind full or mindful.
I take a massive, deep breath and try and refocus.
I am very lucky to have a wonderful man and gorgeous boys. A little over a year ago we were served an eviction notice because the owners of our house wanted to renovate and sell. After 2 months of looking and applying for rental houses we reassessed our life. We realised that living where we were wasn’t working for us. It wasn’t where we wanted to raise our children. The financial strain of living in an overpriced house and the stress of being homeless wasn’t worth it. We spread our wings, flew and found ourselves in the beautiful Southern Highlands of NSW. It hasn’t worked out any cheaper but we are definitely happier here. We are renting a lovely home which has become our little oasis.
Lately the stresses of the outside world have penetrated our little sanctuary which is why I am writing this post today. Stress is a horrible thing. It wreaks havoc on your mind and body. Makes you lose grip of who you are and what matters most. If you aren’t careful it has the ability to change you into someone you don’t want to be.
I have been struggling with patience, easily angered and overly sensitive. My poor children have definitely felt the effects of my stress and that is not fair. On Wednesday I stopped, reflected and decided that I have to be more mindful of my actions towards them. I am very ashamed to admit that at my height of frustration I have been yelling 😦 and since that point I have not yelled. Things are much better already. I have been dropping what I am doing and truly listening. This often involves listening to the same story over and over again which can be truly painful. My children deserve me to be more mindful and definitely need me to listen to them. They need me to hear those stories over and over again. I am very aware that today the story might not seem to have any point but it does pave the way for important future conversations. If I don’t listen to the little stuff then how can they trust me with the big and important stuff? They won’t feel that I care. No amount of me telling them that I love them will build that foundation of trust. Only my actions and mindfulness will be able to do that.
Even though my wonderful man hasn’t said anything I am sure my stress is affecting him. My stress is the last thing he needs.
I know that quite a few of my friends and loved ones are feeling very stressed right about now. Some are carrying way too much stress on their shoulders than one person should have to carry. So as the rubbish truck approaches (my little man loves me to take him outside to watch it) I will leave you with a few questions…
Are you being a mindful person?
Are you pushing away someone important?
Are you being mindful of how your words are making others feel?
Yes you might be stressed too but maybe put yourself in their shoes before making things worse. Once someone closes a door it is much harder to get them to open it back up for you. I know I am going to try and be more aware, more mindful of my actions.
With that I will sign off. Until next time I wish you all happiness and peace xx
My friend just shared this blog post with me.
I read it and I cried.
I cried tears of sadness. Sadness for those moments I have lost.
Sadness because I am not the relaxed mum I planned to be.
My tears were for all of those times that I let life stresses change me for the worst. Especially lately.
This is a must read post for all; not just those of us who have kids. It is a raw, eye opening and at times sad read.
Marty is the relaxed easy going one in our relationship and I am the ‘must do it now’ one. This has been something that once caused great frustration between us. He taught me through his calm patience that I NEED to calm down, relax and take my time. Life is to be enjoyed and not rushed through.
I have come a very long way and reading this makes me so very glad and grateful that he taught me this years ago.
I find myself watching that clock sometimes when it comes to the boys. Pushing for things to happen NOW! Just last night I looked at the time and realised that I had been trying to get the boys into bed for an hour and was getting no where. I could feel the frustration build, bigger and bigger and bigger. I managed to take a deep breath and look at my boys. Their faces were full of smiles reflecting the cheeky happiness they were feeling while they were interacting with their dad. I realised that if I rushed them I was stealing this moment. This truly special and happy moment.
I am constantly working on being a better person, a better mum and a better partner.
Somedays it is harder than others, to just stay calm and relax. Sometimes I slip up and fall into that old trap.
I don’t want to be that person.
I don’t want to miss a moment or have regrets.
So from one ‘ticking clock’ mum, partner, daughter and friend to another I highly recommend reading this.
Over the last few weeks we have been enjoying some time in our garden making our little family a herb and vegetable garden.
On the first weekend we made the garden out of bricks and bought some quality soil from a local supplier.
On the second weekend we went and bought the following plants:
Last weekend (the third weekend), we went and bought another chilli plant, chives, thai basil and a few different types of heirloom tomatoes. There are a few more spaces that we are trying to decide on what we will grow in them.
Can’t wait till they all grow big and strong. Nothing beats fresh, healthy, flavour filled food.
This is how I make it:
3 medjool Dates
Cut, quarter and core the apple. Add to food processor.
Deseed the dates and add them to the food processor along with a small handful of almonds and shredded coconut.
Whiz them up.
I serve my CADA with natural yoghurt (I buy natural unsweetened and sweeten it myself with honey and cinnamon).